Dating in a digital culture

25 February 2019

This post contains items that have been gifted by brands and includes affiliate links. 

February plays host to the day every single person despises. Valentine’s Day. The 14th February. Not another single persons Valentine’s day blog post I hear you say *rolls eyes* ...don't worry. I recently wrote a post on the perfect outfit for a day-to-night date, but not everyone got date ready on the 14th (unless you include a date with the pizza delivery). For most, it’s just a normal day.

I’m no relationship blogger or guru, however it’s safe to say dating now is an awful lot different to dating at a time when my parents met. Thanks to Tinder, Hinge, Bumble and, the dating game has upped a gear, and for someone who is 22 years old, it’s all I’ve ever really known.

Which brings me onto the The 4 Ds. Four commonalities I’ve noticed in this age of digital dating.

Disposable: The dating culture nowadays is that if you're not classed as good enough by a person, you get thrown away. Goodbye, Adios, Ciyaaaaa. There are plenty of options in the sea. Because of dating apps, there is less pressure to date seriously, making individuals more disposable. The value of someone’s time and energy is reduced and if someone screws up it’s onto the next one without a blink of the eye. It’s quite comparable to shopping at Primark. You buy something to do the job but when something newer and better comes into fashion, it’s bye bye old bag. I once had something end with a guy then he basically said ‘but imagine how many people we could meet on Tinder’ urmmm sorry what??? It’s like there is a constant reluctance to commit to anyone longer than 15 days (Gucci bag) as you could miss out on the next thing to come along (Primark bag). Which is why apps like tinder and hinge are so popular yet damaging by creating a wider pool of ‘candidates’ (yuppp, it’s literally a selection process), as you can literally swipe for 20 seconds before you meeting bae. Hook up culture is alive.

Duplicates: Dating more than one person at a time *rolls eyes repeatedly until they leave my skull* . I personally do not get this one. I would’ve thought when you date someone you focus all your energy on getting to know that person...nope, I was wrong. People will date more than one person at a time in the event that if it doesn't work out with one person then hopefully it works with one of the other 4 people on standby. I couldn't think of anything more have to remember different places, times and names - who needs all that extra stress.

Well we all know what that third D is….Direct. If you don’t like someone, you ghost them. I should change my name to Casper because my life currently consists of ghosting left, right and centre. We’re all guilty of ghosting or being ghosted and if I were to think of it positively not only does it get the job done (albeit it’s not the nicest way of sorting your yays from your nays), it’s also character building.

The other aspect of direct is direct validation or as I like to call the fourth D, desperateness. Nowadays, I feel like people are desperate for that instant validation of someone else saying they’re funny, sexy or a good cook. It takes a lot more than a few message exchanges on a app to really show your appreciation for someone but anyway, that’s a whole other blog post. It’s sad that validation has become something that is easily exchangeable via an emoji rather than something that people put the time and effort into nurture. Maybe I'm just old fashioned.

Nevertheless, it’s not all bad. The new digital age of dating makes it smoother to ease into a relationship without a lot of the old pressures. Just think, due to the nature of Smart phone dating, the pool has opened up - you could potentially meet someone on an app, who you would have never crossed pathways with in real life. It's also great giving me those people that didn’t have the time or confidence the opportunity to dive into modern day dating. With technology, the motivation of dating someone on basis of their latest selfie is heightened, and so have our expectations. It’s all very disposable, you either have to hide your feelings more or prepare to be hurt. Raise your hand if both have happened to you *raises hand* On the plus side, I guess it teaches one to toughen up (plays Arianna Grande thank u next).

What are our experiences of digital dating?

Outfit Details

Black Belted Bodycon Midi Dress* - 6BLKDRF018  - Femme Luxe Finery 
Clover Nude Strap Heeled Sandals* - Pretty Little Thing  
Bag - Zara (old) 


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