When success attracts jealousy - A big old chat about insecurities.

11 April 2018

Malcom X famously said “Envy blinds men and makes it impossible for them to think clearly”

We’ve all seen someone we know achieve amazing things and think ‘wow’. Whether it be through a job promotion, educational attainment, generating a healthy profit in their business venture, running a marathon, having their life sorted out or in this day and age something as trivial as getting more likes on Instagram.  For most people, the success and achievements of peers is celebrated, but it would be naive to think that this was the case for everyone. Sometimes watching other people achieve great things can stimulate the green eyed monster.

Let's not pretend this isn't a delicate issue. 

One thing that I have noticed is that we allow other people to achieve success. But only up to a certain point. Once it gets passed that point, we’re having none of it.

We may deem a woman beautiful, but if she’s also smart, funny, ambitious, and has a cracking handbag collection...we dislike her and don't support her. Which in my 21 years of life, is something I am still trying to understand. 

I’m no expert but what I interrupt of the Malcom X quote is that as soon as the initial onset of jealousy occurs, this is the first stage of downward spiral.

The downward spiral of jealousy 

  • We compare ourselves to someone experiencing success

  • Instead of this being an inspiration, we feel envy and thus are unable to think clearly 

  • We focus more on the person experiencing the success, so are unable to devote less time to achieving our own success .

So, I guess this tells us success whether it be through a persons confidence, personality or their achievements, can provoke an element of jealousy amongst other individuals.

On one hand, jealousy can be a motivational factor prompting one to strive for their own success. This is where you can see jealousy in a weird and wonderful way bring about a positive outcome.

However, it's what an individual does between the first and second stage of the downward spiral of jealousy that is key. Acknowledging jealously, realising our worth, and focusing on putting the actions in motion to create success for yourself to overcome the jealousy is great. But life isn't all fairytales & rainbows and this is often not the case. The detrimental effect occurs when jealousy and its constant crippling spiral provokes a negative mental and emotional mindset amongst individuals.

But what about the carefree person striving for success and accumulating the jealousy of others as a by product of this? What’s their crime? Absouletly nothing.

Jealousy can ruin relationships and ultimately make the person achieving their goals feel bad about doing exactly that.  

So the big question is – do we let the jealousy of others stop us from continuing to strive for success?

I like to think the readers of my blog are strong, independent individuals, smashing their goals and achieving success. So this world in which we live in where competing with each other is the accepted way of life, there are bound to be a few experiences where you attract the wrong type of attention. The jealous type.

There is a extremely thin line between confidence and arrogance. Self confidence can be portrayed as arrogance by others. I used to think that if people were hasty or angry with me, it was because I was doing something to explicitly provoke them. After questioning literally every move I made and thinking about this a lot, I realised by working on my self whether it was through my studies, side projects, confidence, appearance or my work/career -  I was going to attract the attention and comments of insecure people, who more often than not will try and put you down to make themselves feel better. 

You can't please everyone. There will always be people you get along with like a house on fire and will be your cheerleader in almost every situation. Then there will also be those who are not so fond and get jealous for a number of reasons – part of the solution is accepting this and carrying on doing you!

Outfit details 

Coat - Missguided (old) Similar
Bodysuit - Missguided (old)
Belt - ASOS
Camo Trousers - Missguided

**Side Note: I made the mistake of wearing these Camo trousers home over the bank holiday weekend and my dad couldn't stop asking if I was joining the army every 10 minutes. So a gentle wanting to you - if you have a dad that loves dad jokes be prepared for the 'where did your legs go?' or 'are you joining the army' jokes when wearing these....

Boots - Missguided via ASOS (old)
Green rucksack - Primark (old)
Annice Navy bag - BecksSondergaard (Gifted)


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